when i was in the hospital because of severe food poisoning,
I wasn't there for long, maybe 1 or 2 days
I obviously felt really bad and weak especially because of the antibiotics that kicked in.
Something that I realised is that when i would sleep,is that i wasn't able to dream.
I would just see black (like a black screen) and then wake up
But something that i would do is that I would put this silent hill song in the room when i was alone,
and it made me relax, and I would contemplate out of my window and observe the garden below me.
It made me just think about life and all the things that we go through from heartbreaks and happiness
and honestly of course I didn't like being sick but I thought of it like resting.(and kindddd of liked being alone for a while)
At that time I had a lot going on and just being alone in a room for a while helped a lot, my mind was more clear and focused
After putting this song on repeat for like a whole day, at night I was actually able to dream!
I just dream of vivid splashing colors, blue! Red! Purple! All the colors just came back and i was super happy I knew then and there that I got better and I would leave my hospital room
And I did the very next day.
During that time I would watch and play some horror games and also watch some podcasts so I can laugh
I always loved horror video games since I was a kid, it always made me wonder about things even if they were creepy,
because to me, a lot of the horror games that are made reflect some type of reality that we face.
For example in Silent hill 3, we're a girl traveling through the town "Silent hill" and a cult is after her so she can give birth to their "god" I suppose
and it really is just us experiencing the horror of girlhood, how she's being preyed upon by multiple poeple
and how she views her autonomy as a horror experience especially pregnancy which is usually considered "beautiful" and "expected",
but for her it wasn't something she wanted and she had to face her fears and regain her bodily autonomy
I don't know how we went from hospital talk to this but I really wanted to share this, even though maybe no one will read this